Vinh Giang
Table of contents
Resources
- link Vinh Giang youtube videos
Communication Traps That Make Smart People Look Insecure, Unprepared, Unqualified
Delivery blindspot
Problem - When speaking 100% of their cognitive capacity goes into what they say and 0% into how they actually say it.
- Reason why this happens is most people grow up rewarded for their technical ability, not for their ability to communicate.
- Ideas don’t speak for itself.
Solution - Split the attention 50/50 between how you say it and what you say.
- Use Vocal-Visual-Verbal framework.
- Vocal - Add melody to your voice. When speaking about something serious, speak with a lower pitch, convery passion with higher pitch.
- Visual - Match your facial expression to the tone of your words. If talking about something facinating, show the facinating look on your face.
- Verbal - Simplify your language and don’t use complex jargon to try to sound smart.
Imposter disclaimer
Problem - You disqualify yourself when you start the sentences with
- I’m not the best person to answer this but…
- This might be stupid but…
- I haven’t really thought this through but…
Why people do this
- You value humility and being humble, but this is not the place for that.
- Imposter syndrome kick’s in and you lower people’s expectations so it dosen’t disappoint anyone.
- You fear being judged for sounding too confident.
Solution - Remove the disclaimers and start with
- Here’s my idea.
- Here’s my perspective.
- Here’s one idea we could explore.
- A recommendation is.
Content Shield
Problem - You use big words, long explanations, and overly complicated frameworks. Because you associate complixity with credibility.
Why people do this
- You’re afraid of being wrong.
- You’re afraid of follow-up questions.
- You’re over-compensating for imposter syndrome.
Solution
- Say the headline first. One clean sentence to summarize your point.
- Add detail to support your point, only if someone asks for clarification.
Micro-checking loop
Problem - Every sentence ending with
- Right?
- Yeah?
- Does that make sense?
- Do you know what I mean?
- Sorry I just have a quick question… (when micro-checking happens in the beginning).
Why people do this
- Hyper-sensitivity to how you’re coming across to others.
- Hyper-awareness of people’s facial expressions.
- Scanning the room for consistent validation and subtle need for approval in real time.
Solution
- Finish your sentence on a low pitch.
- Pause after you finish your sentence.
- Let the point land.
- Then ask for clarity like this
- Is that clear?
- Did you have any questions?
- Would you like me to expand on any points (that I spoke about)?
Disappearing Spine Syndrome
Problem - When sharing an idea, the very moment you sense disagreement, you abandon your point completely.
- Your idea disappears before it even has a chance to stand.
Why people do this
- You put too much emphasis on the first sign of resistance.
- You have a strong desire to be agreeable and not cause conflict.
Solution
- Pause when you sense disagreement.
- Take a deep breath.
- Slow down your rate of speech and finish your point.
- You can also use the anchor and invite technique
- Anchor - I believe this is the right direction for us because…
- Invite - And I’m open to hearing your perspectives too.
5 Love Languages That We Naturally Speak
- Words of affirmation - These are people who value your words.
- Feeling loved though spoken, written, kind words.
- You like when someone says to you “You did amazing today”.
- Specific and genuine praise makes you feel deeply valued.
- Need regular verbal acknowledgement.
- Avoid silence, bluntness and criticism.
- Quality time - These are people who value your presence.
- Feeling loved through undivided time and attention.
- Values meaningful conversations and shared activities.
- Being fully present signals “you matter to me”.
- Gets hurt when the other person is constantly distracted.
- Sees time spent together as clear proof of care.
- Acts of service - These are people who value your effort.
- Feels loved when you people do helpful and thoughtful things to make your life easier.
- Appreciates things being done without needing to ask, like somone doing an errand for you without being asked.
- Your actions speak louder than your words.
- Laziness or broken promises signal “I don’t care”.
- Small actions are far greater than big declarations.
- Physical touch - These are people who love physical closeness.
- Feels loved through appropriate physical closeness.
- Values hugs, sitting close, pats on the back.
- Physical closeness signals emotional safety.
- Laziness or broken promises signal “I don’t care”.
- Small actions are far greater than big declarations.
- Receiving gifts - These are people who value thoughtful tokens.
- Feels loved though thoughtful tokens and gifts.
- Lights up at small surprises like a snack or souvenir.
- Focuses on symbolism behind the gift more than price.
- Forgotten occasions or thoughtless gifts hurt deeply.
- Gifts signal that you remembered them.
Why are these important
- Every person primarily speaks one of these languages.
- When you show love and care to others don’t do it in your love language, do it in their love language.
How to identify your love language
Do you feel hurt the fastest when…
- Someone dosen’t acknowledge you?
- Somone dosen’t spend time with you?
- Someone dosen’t take initiative to help?
- Someone dosen’t get you a gift?
- Someone isn’t physically around enough?
How to identify their love language
Depending on your relationship with the person
- Covert
- Make a list of people you want to deepen connection with.
- For each person, ask yourself these questions what would hurt them the most
- You don’t acknowledge them?
- You don’t spend time with them?
- You don’t take the initiative to help them?
- You aren’t physically present or around them?
- You don’t get them a gift when it’s a special occasion?
- Overt
- For people you want to make a deeper connection than Covert.
- Ask them directly.
How to speak their langauge
- Words of affirmation.
- Don’t say silent.
- Give specific and sincere affirmations.
- Use the SNI Framework
- Spot - Spot what they did and how they showed up.
- Name - Name the specific behavior or trait.
- Impact - Say how it helped you.
- Example.
- Spot - Hey, when you checked on my last week, that was one of the toughest weeks of my life.
- Name - And your kindness and patience really came through.
- Impact - It really made me feel like I wasn’t alone. I really appreciate it.
- Quality time.
- Don’tmultitask when you’re with them.
- Turn your phone off to minimise distractions.
- Give them 100% of your attention.
- Acts of service.
- Stick to your word, don’t bail on things you say you’ll do.
- Make a list of things you can do for this person.
- Set a target to do something on the list once a day.
- Physical touch.
- Don’t treat touch like an afterthought and something that should only be reserved for private.
- Consistent small physical gestures matter.
- Look for natural opportunities for physical closeness.
- Receiving gifts.
- Don’t assume they are materialistic.
- The gift don’t have to be expensive. It’s the thought and the timing behind the gift that matters.
- Gifts are a physical reminder that you are thinking of them.
- Make a habit to notice what they love and surprise them, like their favorite snack, sourvenir from recent trip, handwritten note.
5 Minute Ritual Before Doing Any Presentation
Psychological - Become audience-conscious
- Thinking about yourself or what the audience is thinking about you, makes you more self-conscious.
- The more self-conscious you become, the more nervous you become.
- Before walking to give the presentation look at the audience from the side, thinking about how you change the lives of the people with this talk.
- By doing you have no cognitive capacity left to think about yourself.
Physiological - Remove adrenaline before the stage
- Symptoms of nerviousness shaky voice, shaky body, fidgeting, poor eye contact, sweating.
- This happens from the flight-and-fight response which dumps adrenaline in your body.
- This also makes you flee. This is why when people walk in for the presentation, they keep walking back away from the audience.
- Do brisk forms of exercise behind the stage.
- Jumping jacks, walk, push-ups.
- Just before walking on stage, do skip walking to put yourself in a playful energy. This is not done in front of the audience.
Laugh
- Watch funny videos.
Do Wim Hof Breathing
- Do 2-3 cycles.
- Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing
5 Storytelling Mistakes
Audience Blinkdness
Problem - When you get so caught up in telling the story that you don’t realise the audience has checked out and are not listening anymore.
Symptoms
- Giving too much irrelevant information.
- Not giving essential context and details.
- Not having a clear point to the story.
Solution - Before telling a story focus on these questions
- What context and details are essential for this story to make sense?
- What’s the one thing I want them to walk away with?
- Only tell the story around relevant context and details, and the point of the story - cut out everything else.
Achievement dumping
Problem - When you only share the highlights reel of your life without sharing the relatable moments of struggle and of the journey. Poeple can’t connect with your success, they connect with your struggle.
Solution
- When you share a win, pair it with a cost.
Speaking from a wound, not a scar
Problem - Sharing from a wound is speaking while the pain is still raw and unhealed (you are still dealing with the emotions, also the audience now has to focus on comforting you); whereas sharing from a scar is speaking after healing, offering wisdom and perspective (you have clarity, emotional control).
When sharing an unhealed vunerable story
- The audience feels responsible for your healing.
- You leave the audience with heavy feelings.
- You make the audience your therapist.
Solution - Use TSL framework.
- Test - Test in a safe environment first, with your trusted friends, to gauge your emotional comfort level.
- Stabilise - Stabilise your emotions.
- Lead - Lead with the lesson.
Making it all about you
Problem - The audience in addition to listening to your story, are also trying to see themselves in the story. They are asking
- Can I relate to this story?
- What can I learn from this story?
- Can I apply this story to me?
Solution - Include these 3 elements in every story you tell
- Include your experiences in the story.
- Include the universal human moments that they can relate to.
- Include the values, lessons they can take from it.
Preaching vs sharing
Problem - What you share feels like a lecture. Multiple signs that you are preaching
- You lecture instead of relate.
- You parrot (repeat) the lesson.
- Guru energy, where you talk like you are a god.
Record And Review To Improve Self-Awareness Of Your Speech
Communication mirror
- Record 5-minute vide of you speaking to the camera. It has to be impromptu and unplanned.
- Use this prompt to get ideas
I’m practising impromptu speaking to improve my communication skills. Generate 10 open-ended questions that I can answer out loud for 5 minutes each. The questions should: Be suitable for beginners (not overly deep, abstract, or philosophical). Focus on personal and professional themes only — exclude philosophical or global/political topics.
Be specific enough to trigger a clear story, example, or opinion.
Encourage reflection, explanation, and storytelling rather than yes/no answers. Vary in tone — include a mix of light, fun, and moderately serious prompts.
- Record yourself standing and full body. And start answering the questions till around 5-minute mark.
- To feel more natural, put a prinout picture of your friend on top of the phone.
- Review the recording after 24 hours.
Vocal review
- It helps you hear yourself the way other hear you.
- Turn the volume up, put the phone face down and answer these questions.
- How does my voice make me feel when I listen to it back?
- Does my vocal delivery match the message I’m trying to get across?
- When do I sound most believable and most disconnected?
- What happens to my pitch at the end of the sentences?
- Do I pause strategically, or do I just feel every moment of silence with noise?
- Make a list of vocal behaviors that were distracting and ones that were encouraging.
Visual review
- Turn volume to zero, and watch the video and answer these questions.
- Where do I look when I’m thinking about what to say next?
- What are my default hand gestures?
- Do I use my face to express emotions?
- What are my visual tics that are distracting?
- Do I look confident or do I look apologetic with my body language?
- Make a list of things you do that were distracting and ones that were engaging.
Verbal review
- Use an online transcription tool to convert your video to text. The translation should include the non-words and filler words as well.
- Answer these questions
- Does each paragraph make one clear point?
- Do I use short, clear words or long complicated ones?
- What are my non-words and filler words?
- Are there any words I repeat too often?
- How clear is the structure?
- Can someone read this and follow along logically and easily?
- Use this prompt for transcription review
I’m going to upload a transcript of me speaking. I want you to analyze it and give me precise, high-value feedback to help me improve my overall communication. Here’s what I’d like you to do step-by-step: Clarity & Structure Identify where my message is clear and where it becomes confusing or unfocused. Show me how I can tighten my structure so my message flows naturally and lands stronger. Suggest where I might need a clearer setup, transition, or conclusion. Conciseness & Word Choice Highlight any filler words, redundancies, or long-winded sections that could be simplified. Suggest cleaner phrasing or stronger word choices that keep the rhythm conversational and confident. Emotional Resonance & Storytelling Point out moments that feel flat and tell me how I could make them more engaging or emotionally impactful. Suggest where I could add storytelling, contrast, or curiosity to hook the listener. Tone & Presence Evaluate the tone: does it sound authentic, confident, and connected? Suggest adjustments to rhythm, pacing, or energy that could make it more dynamic and alive. Audience Connection Help me see whether I’m speaking to the audience or at them. Suggest language shifts that make my message more relatable, human, and conversational. Practical Communication Advice Give me 3–5 concrete changes I can make that would have the biggest immediate impact on my communication effectiveness. If relevant, include a short rewritten excerpt that shows what “great” would sound like.
Create 12-week plan
- For each week pick one behavior (from any category), and work on improving that.
- At the end of the week, do another record and review session.
- If you did not make desired improvement, repeat the week with the same behavior.
- Only after you have improved the behavior, you move on to the next behavior.
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